I've been in a dark and moody place of late.  Hence the lack of posts. To tell the truth, I couldn't sleep one night during the first week of March, so I wrote three of my posts while the ideas were fresh and had them scheduled to post throughout the week.  That's the nice thing about blogger, you can schedule or save posts for another time.  Clever stuff this blogger service.  Mostly I've been very depressed, I think it's the end of the winter blahs but I just can't seem to shake it out of my system.  I've been deeply dissatisfied with a lot of my daily life, nothing at home, that's my respite and joy these days, what with baby Nate and Liz.  Without the two of them, I'd be nothing, I'd have nothing...
Anyway, I haven't been much in the mood to bike or write.  The two sunniest days we had so far I found myself completely incapable of leaving the house or getting dressed that I stayed inside ALL DAY and just hung out with Nate.  Jeesh, even Liz walked the dog all three times on Sunday, which she never does since I've taken over dog walking duties since the baby was born.  Liz said I needed to snap out of it that if I didn't even want to go biking, than I must be depressed.  Indeed.  I'm starting to snap out of it, but honestly, this time feels a lot harder than my usual winter doldrums.  I've been trying to make myself get to the gym though in the last two weeks I think I got there only once a week.   This week I've beat my March Personal Best (or Worst) as I went to yoga on Monday night and ran and lifted weights tonight, Tuesday.  One more time at the gym or out on the bike this week and I'll have exercised more this week than I did in two months.  I just renewed my membership and I'm also trying to renew myself.  We'll see.  I haven't been doing too well in being kind to myself or not re-acting to stress or stressful situations.  Guess that resolution went the way of everyone else's, straight to the circular file
What I have been good at doing is eating, stressing myself out over nothing, and in general going through a lot of paranoia and anxiety.  I'm hoping the extra daylight, the spring motivation to exercise and bike and start swimming again will help alleviate some of my depression.  Can anyone relate?  I feel like a bear that's been in hibernation all winter. I'm sort of eager to come out of my cave but man I'm tired and worn out and all I've been doing is sleeping in my own den of inequity.  My fur is bedraggled and I'm fish hungry.  Time to head down the mountain and into the stream of life.


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